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DARK HQ - View topic - Your new Hoza unit (Cretin)
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Your new Hoza unit (Cretin) 
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DARKie
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Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 8:47 pm
Posts: 3174
Location: Orlando, FL, USA
Post Your new Hoza unit (Cretin)
Taken from a PM to me by Cretin, enjoy.. it's classic Cretin material:

Congratulations on your purchase of a Hoza unit! Here at HozaCorp we relise that running an outfit isn't just about leading the troops in to battle, and killing the most bad guys. It's also about keeping up morale, and how better to maintain that than by giving the troops that special feeling that can only be brought about by watching somebody so utterly inept and useless that they can't help but shine?

Yes the new Mk III Hoza's come with the ability to miss targets with shotguns, rifles and guided systems at all ranges. He'll burble happily about not knowing where the CC is on a tech plant and will cheerfully stand in doorways to alllow your troops easy access to the oncoming hoard.

Your Hoza unit spat at us on the way to the spawn tubes. We named him "Cretin" and we hope you'll be very happy with him.

Hoza - because your worth it.

Note your home is at risk if you do not keep up your monthly payments on your Hoza unit.

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Last edited by Malign on Thu Sep 23, 2004 10:01 am, edited 1 time in total.



Thu Aug 19, 2004 10:32 am
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Thu Aug 19, 2004 1:48 pm
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DARKie

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Thu Aug 19, 2004 4:03 pm
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DARKie
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Thu Aug 19, 2004 7:03 pm
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